Dearest Knitting Diary,
Last night I had the strangest dream. I was knitting in the garden, hummingbirds buzzing around me, hoping I would drop some scraps of yarn for their tiny nests while I worked on a beanie for my son’s birthday, whilst thinking about knitting something for my cat, that she would invariably reject (Diary, why doesn’t she appreciate it more??).
Suddenly I was out of yarn. I headed for my yarn closet (Diary, is it wrong for my idle yarn to occupy an entire closet, when my sons’ rooms are bursting at the seams for lack of storage space?).
Secret Stash
As I was foraging, I thought I heard a voice. I froze, ready to bolt out of the yarn closet, intercept my husband in the hallway, so he wouldn’t find me in there and see the truly mythical size of my yarn stash…but he wasn’t calling me. I kept digging and now the voice was closer, only it wasn’t just one voice, it sounded like a faint chorus of them. They sounded like female voices, except for one alto maybe. Now is where it gets strange. I tried to dig faster, find my beanie yarn and get out (Diary, only in a nightmare does a kid’s beanie require more than one ball of yarn!) but the more I struggled, the slower I moved. And the voices got louder and clearer, until I could start making out what they said. At first I heard “Let us out!” And “ I can’t move without sleeves!” And then, “ You chose the pattern, what were you thinking?!” And “Rrrrruff!”
This is when I realized I was trapped. They weren’t going to let me out! All the projects I had ditched ages ago for one reason or another were now holding me hostage in protest of abandonment. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, and these orphaned fragments were all originally meant to please someone, furry or otherwise. (Diary, which comes first: the urge to abandon a project, or the urge to begin a new one, unequivocally brought on by yarn lust?) I turned suddenly, and slammed right into my husband!!!
I woke with a start. The alarm clock mocked me with 4:25 a.m. I would have to get up in 20 minutes, and thus would never get back to sleep. So, I am telling you Diary, that I apparently need another secret closet, one committed to the underworld of half-knits that eternally await completion.
PS/ Mental Note: donate some stash or use for charitable causes to accrue good karma, thus canceling out bad karma from infernal knits.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Sounds more like a nightmare to me!
IN THE THROES OF WORLD CONFUSION I WELCOME THESE DREAMS WHICH CLARIFY OUR INNERMOST DESIRES AND EVENTUALLY MAKE US SMILE
wait …. you get up at 4:45? Now, that is scary.
I have similar nightmares, although mine involve bags of purchased clothes that are stashed throughout my closet…hoping my husband won’t find them when reaching down for a sock!
Keep posting stuff like this i really like it