Dearest Knitting Diary, it has always been my firmest belief that there are two types of people on this earth: those that knit, and those that (secretly) wish they did. But what keeps non-knitters in the closet about their secret desire to do what knitters can do? Are the knitters knitting because they were born that way, genetically pre-disposed to being knitty due to past generations of serial knitters and thus a result of knitvolution? Or because they were created cold-turkey, from a non-knitting humanoid into a converted addict, after repeated and prolonged exposure to a truly radical knitting zealot (like moi)??? In other words Diary, are knitters created or born?
Well, Diary, I think the matter deserves consideration. I am always perplexed when people ogle my sticks loaded with the project du jour, then they timidly approach and say “I could never do that!”, or “I once tried to knit, but I got frustrated and gave up”. This is astounding. Adopting this philosophy means these non-knitters are radical creationists: they think knitters are created, chosen of unearthly means: you either are, or aren’t. Conversely, there are people who come to me with supplies and all the ambition in the world, and think they will be able to knit a sweater within the first three hours of their illustrious knitting career, simply because their great-great-great-great- grandma knitted for the soldiers 200 years ago during the War of 1812. These are the evolutionists: they believe they can become a knitter because the ability is lying dormant within them and it is their genetic right to claim.
Both of these arguments are sound (sort of). And I can find evidence to support both (I think).
Creationism: based on the theory that you are made a knitter by divine intervention (ie: brilliant knitting friend). Evidence for: I have seen people go from not knowing a stick from a hook or yarn from string, to cabling and bobbling within a few weeks. They are virtual prodigies: already better knitters than myself, after only a half-life of experience. Evidence against: I have sat with people and moved/talked in slo-mo for hours and they can’t or won’t perceive what I am showing them. (Diary, after much reflection I feel these people believed they would become knitters by osmosis: just by sitting with another knitter once would make them wake up from their non-knitting coma into a life of prosperous projects.)
Evolution: based on the theory that you are evolved from a long line of generational knitters and thus your DNA is actually encoded to enable you to faire aisle in the round, in a matter of weeks. Evidence for: I know knitters that hold their sticks (armpit) as if reincarnated from Eastern Europe, around the time of Nicholas II. When they knit, I cannot even see how they are managing it, but they are doing it beautifully, and their skill goes so far back they can scarsely remember the ancient aunt that taught them. It’s like they are using a fossilized dialect, like hieroglyphics, but it works. Evidence against: I know kids that knit great, can read patterns, fix mistakes. But their moms are hopeless. (Really)
What to make of it all? Diary, Knitters are both created and evolved. With a strong will and enough practice, anyone can knit well and prosper, whether first gen or descended from knitting royalty.
If only all civil arguments could be resolved as easily, through the infinite wisdom of the Knitter…
Knit Well and Prosper!
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