Witnessing the plague of primaries burning through the mid-west, as the Republican candidates strive to plunge us back into medieval times, gives pause and makes one consider if there may actually be substance to the Mayan prediction of utter Armageddon in 2012. So, in addition to feeling the urgency to write a long overdue post, I am also compelled to draft my Knitting Bucket List, in the hopes that whatever I don’t accomplish this year will simply slide into 2013, when we’re all given a second chance to right the world, or flee to Canada to protect our civil liberties…
- Life-size felted mushroom house for my Coco Kitty, featured above. End use: new fave hangout for Coco; source of me feeling like a rock star every time she’s in it.
- Fourth attempt at a sweater that actually fits my husband, this time.
- Tenth and final attempt at a sweater that fits me, has sleeves of equal length, and doesn’t make me look like I’m wearing several sweaters under it.
- A sweater that fits Coco well enough to allow actual movement (instead of her collapsing in a helpless heap as if I’ve straight-jacketed her. I mean, really, the drama.).
- Slippers for my teenager that last longer than a day without holes worn through the bottom.
- A Hello Kitty rug for Coco, which she will love so much more than the perfectly nice one I bought her from Target, simply because I made it for her. Yes, knitters and their cats have a bond that strong.
- A Hello Kitty backpack and matching headband for me to wear to Comic Con. Comic Con!!!
- Circular chair cushions for all 10 dining room chairs, not to be abandoned from tedium, disgust, or frustration after the first or second cushion. Although it will cost me triple what it would if I just simply purchased replacements for the tattered set I have now, the source of pride I will feel when dinner guests spill wine and mash crumbs into my hand-knitted ones cannot be replicated.
- Did I mention a chunky sweater that doesn’t make me look chunky?
- Best myself at doing Bar Mitzvah centerpieces for my son’s impending manhood. His older brother’s amigurumi critter centerpieces caused a smack-down among the parental guests that had the neighbors gossiping for weeks afterwards…
- Tree cozies for my impressive garden, made from all the stash yarn camouflaged around my house. I have my husband believing that some piles of it are actual furniture we use.
- A knitted ‘pearl’ necklace for the random celebrity of my choice, who will then wear it during a high-profile interview and subsequently be interrogated on-camera about the genius knitter of aforementioned ‘pearls’, instantly catapulting me into the long-awaited, dreamlike state of fame and fortune that I sooo deserve.
Oops, did I say that last one out loud? We must cling to hope.
Knit well and prosper!