{Knitting} Creationism v. Evolution

Dearest Knitting Diary, it has always been my firmest belief that there are two types of people on this earth: those that knit, and those that (secretly) wish they did.  But what keeps non-knitters in the closet about their secret desire to do what knitters can do?  Are the knitters knitting because they were born that way, genetically pre-disposed to being knitty due to past generations of serial knitters and thus a result of knitvolution? Or because they were created cold-turkey, from a non-knitting  humanoid into a converted addict, after repeated and prolonged exposure to a truly radical knitting zealot (like moi)???  In other words Diary, are knitters created or born?

Well, Diary, I think the matter deserves consideration.  I am always perplexed when people ogle my sticks loaded with the project du jour, then they timidly approach and say “I could never do that!”, or “I once tried to knit, but I got frustrated and gave up”.  This is astounding.  Adopting this philosophy means these non-knitters are radical creationists:  they think knitters are created, chosen of unearthly means: you either are, or aren’t.  Conversely, there are people who come to me with supplies and all the ambition in the world, and think they will be able to knit a sweater within the first three hours of their illustrious knitting career, simply because their great-great-great-great- grandma knitted for the soldiers 200 years ago during the War of 1812.  These are the evolutionists: they believe they can become a knitter because the ability is lying dormant within them and it is their genetic right to claim.

Both of these arguments are sound (sort of). And I can find evidence to support both (I think).

Creationism: based on the theory that you are made a knitter by divine intervention (ie: brilliant knitting friend).  Evidence for:  I have seen people go from not knowing a stick from a hook or yarn from string, to cabling and bobbling within a few weeks.  They are virtual prodigies: already better knitters than myself, after only a half-life of experience.   Evidence against: I have sat with people and moved/talked in slo-mo for hours and they can’t or won’t perceive what I am showing them.  (Diary, after much reflection I feel these people believed they would become knitters by osmosis: just by sitting with another knitter once would make them wake up from their non-knitting coma into a life of prosperous projects.)

Evolution: based on the theory that you are evolved from a long line of generational knitters and thus your DNA is actually encoded to enable you to faire aisle in the round, in a matter of weeks.  Evidence for: I know knitters that hold their sticks (armpit) as if reincarnated from Eastern Europe, around the time of Nicholas II.  When they knit, I cannot even see how they are managing it, but they are doing it beautifully, and their skill goes so far back they can scarsely remember the ancient aunt that taught them.  It’s like they are using a fossilized dialect, like hieroglyphics, but it works.   Evidence against: I know kids that knit great, can read patterns, fix mistakes.   But their moms are hopeless. (Really)

What to make of it all?  Diary, Knitters are both created and evolved. With a strong will and enough practice, anyone can knit well and prosper, whether first gen or descended from knitting royalty.

If only all civil arguments could be resolved as easily, through the infinite wisdom of the Knitter…

Knit Well and Prosper!

Be Sociable, Share!
This entry was posted in Latest Photos on by .

About Dana Mekler

Welcome to my zealotous knitting site! Please shop, download freebies, and laugh at my blog posts. I am a mother of boys and pets, a wife of 20 years, and writer as well as knitter. I swear as if its my first language, because we all need a vice and chocolate just isn't enough sometimes. I

3 thoughts on “{Knitting} Creationism v. Evolution

  1. Karenne

    You definitely are both Dana! I just don’t know where you find the time to knit. I think your creativity overpowers your mind and your release is all of your beautiful projects!

  2. Elaine Gindi

    This was exceptionally creative as only you can write this. I believed you have a distant relative ( Madam Defarge).

    Madame Defarge
    Possessing a remorseless bloodlust, Madame Defarge embodies the chaos of the French Revolution.
    The initial chapters of the novel find her sitting quietly and knitting in the wine-shop.
    However, her apparent passivity belies her relentless thirst for vengeance.
    With her stitches, she secretly knits a register of the names of the revolution’s intended victims.
    Check her DNA and yours. If it’s a match then you must tell Michael to be very cautious . She was on trial for murder!
    Were her knitting needles the intended weapon?

  3. Aunt Debbie

    Grandma Milo from Aleppo Syria at 89 knits with her needle under her armpit. She is super fast and has hundreds of infant sweaters to her credit. ( All of her 25 great grandkids and 3 great-great grand kids- have worn at least one of her baby sweaters.)She can complete a sweater set in record time while doing other things at the same time. She doesn’t use a pattern, rarely looks down at what she is doing and in no time produces a work of art. I believe that her ability justifies your evolution theory going back to the Syrian desert bedouins who had to quickly knit coats for their camels to protect them from sudden sandstorms.
    Unfortunately, in this day and age with the inventions of the many I’s (I touch , I pad , I phone) X -Boxes , Wii and blackberries, the armpit method may be a thing of the past and will be extint by the next decade.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *